The arrival of a new baby changes a family in an instant. Alongside the anticipation and joy comes the challenges of adjusting to new parenting lifestyles and routines. Major life transitions are overwhelming, not just for mothers and birthing people, but for new fathers and partners too.
Research shows that 1 in 10 new fathers experience postpartum depression, driven largely by stress, anxiety, and shifts in relationship dynamics at home. What often goes unrecognized is how paternal depression shows up: increased anger, aggression, irritability, and withdrawal. Confronted with feeling invisible in the face of their new baby, fathers can further isolate, avoiding their partners, their children, and asking for help.
Jared, a father and licensed clinical social worker, shared his experience with postpartum depression as part of an ongoing series by the California Perinatal Wellness Alliance and Love, Dad to elevate lived experience and reduce stigma around perinatal mental health for the whole family:
“I just kind of felt like I didn’t know what I was supposed to do outside of the functional stuff. I can support my wife. I could hold the baby while she takes a shower. But I’m like, well, who am I?… I’m the dad. I don’t experience anything. So I kept my mouth shut the whole time.”
Societal expectations of masculinity push men to internalize their struggles rather than name them. By repressing their feelings, they can experience resentment toward their baby or tension with their partners. Untreated paternal depression reduces positive engagement with their children, with long-term impacts on their child’s development and health. [Source]
Maternal depression is the most important risk factor for paternal depression. Postpartum mental health may show up differently in mothers and fathers, but the connection between them is undeniable. [Source] The relationship between parents, especially during the early years, is deeply connected. When both parents are supported, children thrive.
One thing is clear: postpartum depression is not reflective of the parent’s character. Changing the narrative about paternal depression and anxiety will help fathers show up fully for the people they love. The U.S. is the only wealthy nation with no federally paid parental leave policy. The average American father takes just one week off after a baby is born. We can’t ask fathers to open up while the systems around them stay closed.
The postpartum experience belongs to the whole family. 4th Trimester is committed to making sure every member of it is supported.
Learn more and find support:
- California Perinatal Wellness Alliance — a survivor- and community-led coalition advancing policy change, elevating lived experience through storytelling, and building systemic change for perinatal mental health across California
- Love, Dad — raising awareness of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders in fathers
- Maternal Mental Health Leadership Alliance — a national alliance working to ensure all mothers and families have access to mental health care. Access their Paternal Mental Health Fact Sheet here
